I take my words back when I said the food at lowercase was so so because fave egg's ben ever. Had it a second time today!!
He knew it was the weekend<3
A lot of overdue photos because busy + no blogging feels (until today of course because school starts at 3 tmr!!!)
The past two weeks have been the most taxing and draining weeks in a while. Bobby isn't in great health and school work was piling on with no mercy (and still is). The week that I heard news about Bobby's condition, I felt what it was like to have the world come crashing down on me. Any time spent alone, or with Bobby, I would be weeping away. Tearing up on public transport was not even embarrassing. It was some immense sadness that crept over me and hovered in the air around me that people would have sensed. I cried before I went to sleep and whenever he came to mind. And crying really tires a person out. I wasn't able to stay awake in any lectures nor tutorials and I resented myself for that (and became more depressed).
I haven't had Bobby since he was a puppy but we've forged such a deep bond that I could never imagine letting him go (I could but I would cry). He has character like a human being, a companion. The best companion I could ever ask for. He comes with me in the toilet, crawls out from under the bed (he sleeps under our bed) with the sleepiest face to lick the back of my hand for a good five minutes every morning, sniffs his leash or looks outside the gate to hint that he wants a walk. He exudes naivety when he approaches cats that are already hissing and ready to attack him. He doesn't know cats could be unfriendly and I have to pull him away. Now that he is on long term heart medication, I just want to be the one to feed him his medicines, watch him sleep, cook his meals for him and clean up after him like I always do, walk him, pet him, and in turn, let him show his affections to me.
After these two weeks, I've finally began to feel better and more alive again. Thanks to friends who managed to put a real smile on my face after a long day (of passing fake smiles and hiding tears). And family who assures me everything will be fine. I'm glad I still manage to be on task with school and that Bobby is doing a lot better with medication. It hurt me so much watching him cough repeatedly before I brought him to the vet.
I've put in time and effort to secure a place for internship in Korea and I've wanted it so badly but I wouldn't care less than spending every single day that he has left with him. It's a really difficult decision to make and although I haven't made up my mind 100%, I've told myself from a long time ago that I will be beside him to hold him and kiss him the day that he goes. As much as I don't want the day to come, and as impossible as it is to be able to prepare myself for it, I know it will come. And I just want to be by him. I know he wants me to be by his side too. The love that a dog can give to you, is so pure and genuine. I love Bobby and he doesn't love me any less. He shows it everyday. I'm so, so thankful for having him in my life.
Right now, I'm just focused on caring for him and loving him with my all.
Wow I couldn't write this post without tearing.
Anyway, juggling life! Brb xx
